Suddenly, i wish i was a damn zai coder.
i wish i wasn't just 'fluff'. it doesn't seem to be valuable in other people's eyes anyway.
i wish i could do more, could help more, do even a simple css without taking hours to complete one small part and still not get it right.
suddenly, i feel even small, even more insignificant than before joining this class.
suddenly, my skills feel useless, undervalued.
and i feel as though i'm pulling the team down.
i wonder if it's just me. i wonder if i'm really the weak link here.
i don't communicate well with people i'm working with.
i don't understand coding, i don't know how long it takes to code smth.
hell, i can't even code a paragraph without introducing a shitload's worth of bugs.
you say that i'm not trying, i'm not prioritising.
but i don't know how. because i just don't know how long it takes to code a damn item!
and when you say there's too many features, i don't understand, because i don't know what you define as a feature.
i don't know what to do anymore. i've done all i can for marketing, i've redone the ui, i really have tried. but it seems like it's just not enough.
i'm sorry guys. i really dont know what to do anymore.
About Me
- Chris
- I'm working in an audio Bible company, Voxbiblia. Critiqal Christian stemmed from my urge to clear my doubts, to pose questions and document the answers for others to discover. I don't know what the end will be, and I don't intend to 'prove' anything along this journey - I just want to see if God is real.
Yo!
ReplyDeleteDont be discouraged ya? I can see what you are coming from. You cant code for nuts, you tried your best, you feel useless, you cant communicate well with your teammates. I've been there. You have to realise, if you cant code, nobody can really force you to code anything.
Coding is all about logic, within logic, within logic. Logic that sometimes doesnt make sense to me. I think it takes a lot of determination, conviction and logic sense to do coding, given the current time span, I dont think any non-programmer can instantly learn programming unless you have the latent talent?
How you feel communicating with your team mates, its just only because you are merely different from them. Haha think about it, put a programmer with a group of business/political like minded people, I think he will feel the same way how you are feeling.(Haha, i'm not generalising, just quoting an example) I actually felt this way with my team. They even wrote in my appraisal saying that I need to communicate more. :P
Rather than thinking how to code, why not think how you can contribute in other aspects. In this case, I think you have done a great job leh, with marketing and UI and all. As long you give your 100% to what you can do, I think you have already done your part le.
Sayang sayang. Take it easy.
ReplyDeleteWe know you're trying your best.
It's supposed to be fun remember. :-P We'd talk later this week and see how okay?
Chill. :-P